So I attempted the external version on Wednesday. And I won't ever do that again. The experience was the worst & most painful procedure I have ever endured. And after four attempts at turning the baby, it was unsuccessful. I was screaming & crying, and Darren was crying, absolutely horrible. I now have bruises on my stomach, & I'm in a constant state of wondering if the baby is okay. Now we are scheduled for a c-section on June 8th. So we'll be meeting our baby girl sometime that afternoon.
I'm having to change gears a bit. No longer will we be able to fly solo in our first week with the baby. The baby & I will be in the hospital for 3-4 nights. Then we'll come home to be cared for by Poppie & Momma Boo. I'm looking forward to that first week at home together. After that Aunt JoAnn will come help us keep house & home in one piece while we continue to learn to parent our new baby girl. I'm feeling good things coming our way & that Prenatal Peggy is keeping a close watch over her granddaughter.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Not what I envisioned
Darren & I saw the midwives yesterday for my 37 week checkup. I was given a copy of my prenatal medical records & instructed to keep it on my persons at all times. I tested negative for Group B Strep, & that was my only win for the day. The baby is still breech & settling into my pelvis. I've been scheduled for an in-hospital version for next Wednesday. I'm to drink a ton of water over the next few days to build up my amniotic fluid. I'm not to eat or drink after midnight on Tuesday. On Wednesday, I'll be given an IV with fluids & a smooth muscle relaxer. Then the doctor will attempt to manually turn the baby. I have a lot of anxiety about this procedure.
If the version is unsuccessful then I will be scheduled for a c-section for the following week. I'm even more anxious about that procedure.
Packing my hospital bag was a lot more fun. I'm not having fun anymore. I'm ready for this to all be over & behind me.
If the version is unsuccessful then I will be scheduled for a c-section for the following week. I'm even more anxious about that procedure.
Packing my hospital bag was a lot more fun. I'm not having fun anymore. I'm ready for this to all be over & behind me.
Monday, May 24, 2010
37 weeks
Well another great shower has come & gone. We had an amazing time in Baltimore with our family & long time family friends celebrating our soon to be born baby girl. This shower also took place during one of the three triple crown races, this time the Preakness, where it turned out to be Lookin At Lucky's big day for the win. So we will not be naming our baby girl after Super Saver or Lookin At Lucky. However it's been fun to tie in the horse races to the backdrop of each shower event. And as I am now full term...Maybe it will be my little thoroughbred who will win big on June 5th. It could happen. Here are a few photos from the Baltimore Baby Shower. Thanks to my aunt & her family for hosting a lovely party.
On to the current issues. So our little baby girl still has not turned. I've done everything holistically possible so far. She's not moving. So now we discuss the in hospital version. I'm disappointed about the prospect of this manual maneuver. Word on the street is that it's rather uncomfortable for mom & can take anywhere from 5-30min to successfully turn the baby. They usually stop after 30min even if the baby has not turned. The other concern is that this maneuver will cause the baby to go into distress, which could result in an emergency c-section. The other issue is that if she has not turned by 39 weeks, either on her own or by force, I will be scheduled for a c-section. It always goes without saying that mom & dad want a healthy baby born, first & foremost. However, we take issue with people who say don't worry about it. That's just insane to me. While a c-section is common practice in the US, anyone in a sound frame of mind ought to consider the draw backs of any surgery "big" or "small". And oh-by-the-way, abdominal surgery isn't considered a walk in the park. Not to mention that this is as far from my envisioned birth experience. So there is reason to allow me to grieve for the potential loss of that experience, all while preparing for what may come, and all that will be required in a cesarean postpartum recovery. A c-section does have very immediate & long term lifelong consequences. So today I'm sad & disappointed.
On to the current issues. So our little baby girl still has not turned. I've done everything holistically possible so far. She's not moving. So now we discuss the in hospital version. I'm disappointed about the prospect of this manual maneuver. Word on the street is that it's rather uncomfortable for mom & can take anywhere from 5-30min to successfully turn the baby. They usually stop after 30min even if the baby has not turned. The other concern is that this maneuver will cause the baby to go into distress, which could result in an emergency c-section. The other issue is that if she has not turned by 39 weeks, either on her own or by force, I will be scheduled for a c-section. It always goes without saying that mom & dad want a healthy baby born, first & foremost. However, we take issue with people who say don't worry about it. That's just insane to me. While a c-section is common practice in the US, anyone in a sound frame of mind ought to consider the draw backs of any surgery "big" or "small". And oh-by-the-way, abdominal surgery isn't considered a walk in the park. Not to mention that this is as far from my envisioned birth experience. So there is reason to allow me to grieve for the potential loss of that experience, all while preparing for what may come, and all that will be required in a cesarean postpartum recovery. A c-section does have very immediate & long term lifelong consequences. So today I'm sad & disappointed.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
She's a brick...House
Yep that's right, I'm huge. Confirmed by the fact that I now have significant trouble parallel parking & that my friends keep telling me so (& telling me stories of them telling other people that I am huge). So I'm huge! My lower back & right oblique is killing me & I now have trouble getting a deep breath. I'm almost 36 weeks pregnant & quite frankly I feel it. The baby girl is still moving & shaking. She's in no rush to get herself into position. This puts my midwives into a tizzy. They are eager to schedule me for an inversion, however I've decided against this plan. I think the baby is just not quite ready yet. She'll have her whole life to be bossed around, for now she can decide when it's time to get ready & when it's time to be born. I feel a lot better having made this decision. The in hospital inversion seemed so dooms-day to me. It will be a challenge next week getting the midwives to back off & accept my choice to allow the baby to find her way down on her own terms. But as her mom, I'm prepared to fight on her behalf for what I feel in my gut to be what's best for her.
So now that you've been updated on that turn of events I will share with you the photos from my most fabulous Brooklyn Baby Shower. My friends did the most amazing job creating a day packed with fun, creativity & some gift giving. Many many thanks for all who participated in Baby Girl's Showering of Love & Affection!
Thanks to Matt & Amy for sharing their pics with me. And Thanks to Megan & Luke for opening their home. And to Megan & Heather for showering us with love love love.
So now that you've been updated on that turn of events I will share with you the photos from my most fabulous Brooklyn Baby Shower. My friends did the most amazing job creating a day packed with fun, creativity & some gift giving. Many many thanks for all who participated in Baby Girl's Showering of Love & Affection!
Thanks to Matt & Amy for sharing their pics with me. And Thanks to Megan & Luke for opening their home. And to Megan & Heather for showering us with love love love.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Feeling Something New & Learning Too
I'm 33 weeks & one day along in my pregnancy, and I've started to feel my body practice & prepare for the big day. Last weekend I had my first braxton hicks contractions. My entire abdomen tightened & became rock hard during these isometric exercises. The second time it happened I had Darren feel my tummy. He thought it was so cool. It didn't hurt, just a flex-hold-release a few times & then that was enough for one day. These have happened a few times, but I hardly notice them unless I'm walking where they restrict my range of motion. Now this weekend I started to feel tinges of pain in between my pelvic bone. My best guess is this is my cervix thinning. All welcomed as a reminder that we are nearing the day when we will greet our little girl into the world.
And learning, we started our Child Birth Education Class last week. We have five consecutive classes, once a week. To be entirely honest, Darren & I are the most informed of our group. This kind of surprises me, as New Yorkers tend to be extremely studied. Preparing themselves for a class by reading all the books they can get their hands on before the curriculum begins. This group, maybe not so much the case. They do all seem very busy, with both parents working. Darren & I left feeling like we were at the top of the class. And he even said that he was so pleased that I have had the time to really focus, learn & make educated decisions about our pregnancy & birth plan well in advance of 33 weeks into our gestation. This class may just be a refresher of information for us. But that's fine.
In other great news, my friend Cookie just had her baby girl on Friday. Poppy Day was born around 10:35pm & weighed in at 6lb. She's a little peanut, & I really look forward to meeting her.
And learning, we started our Child Birth Education Class last week. We have five consecutive classes, once a week. To be entirely honest, Darren & I are the most informed of our group. This kind of surprises me, as New Yorkers tend to be extremely studied. Preparing themselves for a class by reading all the books they can get their hands on before the curriculum begins. This group, maybe not so much the case. They do all seem very busy, with both parents working. Darren & I left feeling like we were at the top of the class. And he even said that he was so pleased that I have had the time to really focus, learn & make educated decisions about our pregnancy & birth plan well in advance of 33 weeks into our gestation. This class may just be a refresher of information for us. But that's fine.
In other great news, my friend Cookie just had her baby girl on Friday. Poppy Day was born around 10:35pm & weighed in at 6lb. She's a little peanut, & I really look forward to meeting her.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Get Out of My Head
So as some of you already know, I've been working diligently to keep the kind concerns of my midwives at arms length. My weight has been on their radar since sometime in January. It started off innocently enough by mentioning that I was still not back to my pre-pregnancy weight, after having lost 5 lb in the first 12 weeks thanks to morning sickness. They stated no concern at the time. Just followed the statement up with an, "oh but don't get carried away either. Your not eating for two. You should only be eating an additional 300 calories a day". I like to think of it as eating for 1 & 1/4. So I noted what they said & wasn't really worried about my eating habits anyway. I mostly just smiled & thought to myself, I'm the least of your worries. Truly knowing that I am.
I love food. I love really good food. And I've kind of been fanatical about it since I left home at 18 years old & began feeding myself. After college I worked with a food photographer, who just sent me deeper into my obsession with amazing food. And living in NYC has harbored such a deep appreciation for food that it's actually a reason to never leave the city. And a justifiable one at that. I can argue in this favor if given the opportunity.
Once my appetite returned, I was happy to dig back into the yummy foods I had been missing. First stop was India, with a healthy dose of Chicken Kurma, Potato Samosas, Shag Ponir, & Naan. It's true I do remember what I had for dinner 20 weeks ago. It was just that memorable. And if you had eaten one Cherrio at a time for 4 weeks straight, you too would remember the first supper you were able to put down & like it.
So last week when they again mentioned that I wasn't putting on weight at a rate that they were comfortable with, as they have said repeatedly at every appointment since January, I was officially annoyed. And then offended when they added the question, "Are you restricting calories?". I realized right then & there that they didn't trust me. And a growing anxiety began to build when I realized that without them trusting me, I couldn't fully trust them either. I left that appointment very upset & followed a series of sequences to put myself back on track. First stop call my husband. He was mad. Second stop call aunts & girlfriend. One aunt says oh just eat more & shut them up. The other says take it with a grain of salt, everyone in the medical provider community wants to fit their patients into a neat little "normal" box, and you're not fitting. Then my surrogate mom tells me I'm fine & arms me with ammo. Keep a food journal she says. That way they can actually see for themselves the quantity & quality of what you are eating. At the next appointment share it with them & ask for a referral to a nutritionist. Then the nutritionist can back up my caloric intake with regards to my weight gain. And finally tell them to stop it. From this moment forward a midwife's goal should not only be to ensure healthy fetal development, but to also foster confidence in the mother.
So that's what I am doing. And I have to admit that keeping a food journal is really annoying. And like my first supper post morning sickness, I look forward to my first meal post food journal. I'll probably remember exactly what I ate & likely know the portion too because I'm getting pretty good at eyeballing measured amounts. The guessing part has become a bit of a sport in an effort to maintain my sanity. I feel like I have won some invisible prize when I confirm the guess against my measuring cups & spoons. If anything this lesson will have prepared me for a career in a test kitchen.
I love food. I love really good food. And I've kind of been fanatical about it since I left home at 18 years old & began feeding myself. After college I worked with a food photographer, who just sent me deeper into my obsession with amazing food. And living in NYC has harbored such a deep appreciation for food that it's actually a reason to never leave the city. And a justifiable one at that. I can argue in this favor if given the opportunity.
Once my appetite returned, I was happy to dig back into the yummy foods I had been missing. First stop was India, with a healthy dose of Chicken Kurma, Potato Samosas, Shag Ponir, & Naan. It's true I do remember what I had for dinner 20 weeks ago. It was just that memorable. And if you had eaten one Cherrio at a time for 4 weeks straight, you too would remember the first supper you were able to put down & like it.
So last week when they again mentioned that I wasn't putting on weight at a rate that they were comfortable with, as they have said repeatedly at every appointment since January, I was officially annoyed. And then offended when they added the question, "Are you restricting calories?". I realized right then & there that they didn't trust me. And a growing anxiety began to build when I realized that without them trusting me, I couldn't fully trust them either. I left that appointment very upset & followed a series of sequences to put myself back on track. First stop call my husband. He was mad. Second stop call aunts & girlfriend. One aunt says oh just eat more & shut them up. The other says take it with a grain of salt, everyone in the medical provider community wants to fit their patients into a neat little "normal" box, and you're not fitting. Then my surrogate mom tells me I'm fine & arms me with ammo. Keep a food journal she says. That way they can actually see for themselves the quantity & quality of what you are eating. At the next appointment share it with them & ask for a referral to a nutritionist. Then the nutritionist can back up my caloric intake with regards to my weight gain. And finally tell them to stop it. From this moment forward a midwife's goal should not only be to ensure healthy fetal development, but to also foster confidence in the mother.
So that's what I am doing. And I have to admit that keeping a food journal is really annoying. And like my first supper post morning sickness, I look forward to my first meal post food journal. I'll probably remember exactly what I ate & likely know the portion too because I'm getting pretty good at eyeballing measured amounts. The guessing part has become a bit of a sport in an effort to maintain my sanity. I feel like I have won some invisible prize when I confirm the guess against my measuring cups & spoons. If anything this lesson will have prepared me for a career in a test kitchen.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Planning for Baby
Okay so in some ways planning for baby is like planning for a wedding. Everyone says that once you have decided on your dress, then stop shopping for that all important piece. Well I guess the same could be true for the stroller. I was not able to stop searching for the very best possible stroller choice in my quest to be ready for baby. I concluded, quite happily, months ago that the Maxi Cosi Perle was the best bet for us. But then today I got knocked on the head with the UPPAbaby G-Luxe. So many things are good about this stroller. For one it's 11 lb. The Maxi Cosi is 17 lb, ahhh. And secondly it's $25.00 cheaper, however the rain shield is not included (purchase price $20). Then I come to find out that Maxi Cosi has stopped making the Perle! Oh no, what does this mean? Now I'm feeling confused again. However, I cannot find anywhere that the UPPAbaby G-Luxe is compatible with an infant car seat. If it's not, well then all bets are off.
Okay, so I just found out on Consumer Report that it is not compatible with car seats. So HA! I was right with my dress pick, I mean my stroller pick all along. See people just stop shopping for the things you already know are right.
Okay, so I just found out on Consumer Report that it is not compatible with car seats. So HA! I was right with my dress pick, I mean my stroller pick all along. See people just stop shopping for the things you already know are right.
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