The Honeymoon vs. Oh No What Have I Done

I'm about two weeks into my second trimester & it really is the honeymoon period. I feel as if someone flipped a switch & all of a sudden I felt fantastic again. My appetite has returned, but is not yet amped up. My overly sensitive nose has backed down, and overall I feel great.

I've now started my prenatal yoga. It truly is amazing to be around other pregnant women. I find that my prenatal class is more of an exercise in breath & spirituality. Where my regular yoga class focuses on strength & endurance. I'll stick with both because each class challenges me in unique & equally important ways. Worry not friends my regular yoga teacher modifies the poses for me.

Now that my physical symptoms of pregnancy have dissipated, I am left with my thinking self. Currently my main issue of complaint is my own head space. I continue to feel anxiety toward the unknown experience. And I worry about the pain. I am working diligently to free myself from many years of frightening stories my mother choose to share with me. Currently I am reading Birthing From Within, in an effort to wipe the slate clean. It helps & certainly calms me down. Yesterday I watched a birth story (I know I am not suppose to do this because they dramatize everything), but this one was a comparison between a L&D birth and a Birthing Center birth at St. Luke's Roosevelt, where we are to deliver our baby. The L&D doctor was my girlfriend's doctor & the Birthing Center was a midwife whom I did not know. Anyhow, watching it brought all of my fears to the surface; leaving me with a lump in my throat. Darren & I talk about it. And he reassures me that my anxieties are normal. And I know this to be true, but come June it's me who will be left with the difficult task of delivering our baby. And currently I'm feeling overwhelmed.